One Liners - Bumper Stickers

One Liners

  1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences; he thought he was God. and I didn't.
  2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
  3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
  4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  5. Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive.
  6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  7. I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
  8. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  9. I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  10. God must love stupid people; He made so many of them.
  11. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
  12. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  14. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
  15. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"