DARWIN AWARDS 2B
Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways. This honor is usually awarded posthumously.
BEES 1, HUMANS 0
Brazil: A farmer decided to burn a beehive out of his orange tree. He protected
his head from bee stings by sealing a plastic bag tightly around his neck. His
worried wife found him dead a few hours later. He had forgotten to put breathing
holes in the bag.
CABLE CAR STAR
Italy: A 53-year-old Glasgow tourist used a mountain climber's snap hook to
attach himself to an unused cable car cable, and attempted to slide down a
mountain. Unable to defeat the force of gravity, the man accelerated out of
control and proceeded to bash his way 200 meters down the cable before impacting
a pylon.
ELECTRIFIED WORMS
Norway: If you need worms for fishing, just put a 12-volt electric current
through ground, and up they come. A 23-year-old man withdrew his genes form the
pool when he tried to speed up the process by using 220V household current.
Alas, he did so squatting on a steel bucket, holding an electrode in one hand
while pushing the other in the ground...removing himself from the gene pool.
GUN OWNER SHOOTS BACK 72%
New Mexico: 18-year-old Carlos tried to rob a man who had placed a newspaper ad
to sell a gun. Surprise! The gun seller was also a gun owner. He fired it in
self-defense, and the robber died before rescue crews arrived.
FOOLISH COURAGE
Brazil: On New Year's Eve, some friends were befogged by Pinga, a traditional
Brazilian liquor, when they began competing to see who could hold a lit firework
in his mouth the longest. Antonio was the winner, biting a firework a bit too
long, and thereby earning praise for his "courage" at his funeral.
BOOBY TRAPS TRAP BOOB
The Netherlands: A retired engineer booby-trapped his home with twenty deadly
devices, with the intention of killing his estranged family. Anyone with common
sense could predict the inevitable outcome. He inadvertently triggered one of
his own hidden traps, and removed himself from the gene pool.
WELL-TRAINED
Kentucky: A 20-year-old, demonstrating train-hopping to his friends, tried to
hop a southbound train, but failed to notice the simultaneous approach of a
northbound train. He was struck and removed from the gene pool.