Airline Attendants 3

Occasionally, airline attendants make in-flight safety lectures and other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some actual examples:

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking.  I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault,  it wasn't the pilot's fault, it  wasn't the flight attendants fault... it was the asphalt!"

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."

As he said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"  "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"